Like new
This weekend, I finished my seasonal job working for The Parade Company in Detroit, where we build America’s Thanksgiving Parade. I work on the paper mache “Big Heads” and am a painter for float stuff. The season, for me, started back at the end of May, right when I had finished college and graduation and student exhibitions and all that. And now, for the first time in my whole life, I am about to embark on a winter of complete and utter freedom.
I was working 60-70 hour weeks for the last month or two up until Thanksgiving. So there was no time for personal art, no time for a social life, and every day at work felt like a complete blur. It’s one of those things where you have no sense of separation between your days. My sense of reality became quite skewed. Which can be scary, but also exhilarating. There is a deep sense of accomplishment that comes from being so dedicated to something. This makes it sound like the job sucks, but I promise it doesn’t. It’s honestly my dream job. But it’s still a lot of work. Anyways, now I am home, at my apartment with a candle lit, and my laundry clean, and a fresh coat of snow outside, and I feel totally confused. My body went from being on my feet for 13-16 hour days to basically doing nothing.
But in this newfound boredom, I am thinking about all the excitement I have for this winter. Winter is really hard in Michigan. There’s basically no sunlight, and the sun sets before you eat dinner, and it’s freezing. I normally hate it. But right now it feels very comforting, like things are about to change.
I’m about to start a really huge dream project that I can’t really talk about yet. Mostly because I want it to be a big reveal once it’s done. But I think this is part of why I can’t truly relax. I have so many things that I’m excited about, and things I want to do.
It is at these times when you can reflect on yourself from a year or two ago, and be proud of your growth. Even for small things, like doing your hair a different way, or finding a new pair of shoes you now love. Each day we learn a little more about ourselves, maybe. You know what I love? When I find something old in my closet that I haven’t worn in a long time, and then it’s like new again. It’s like rediscovering something you loved when you were a kid, and knowing it must be true to yourself if it came back to you.
On Thanksgiving night I went to bed just before 7pm and slept for almost 14 hours (I’d only had 3 hours of sleep the night before). And then I woke up the next day and went to the vintage store with my mom and my sister, and I found a perfect cat stuffed animal. I cannot figure out when it is from, or anything about it, but I would guess it is from the 50s or 60s. It is a faded green color with a pink bow around its neck, which is probably my favorite color combination. I do think this cat was meant to be mine because it is perfect and I love it.
I have big plans for this site, and I promise they’re real this time because I have the whole winter to dedicate to it. My much needed rest has finally come, but I’m also now full of energy to put towards personal work. The art stuff will be back up and running in no time. I appreciate you for caring and reading.
maddie
